Is Mary Kay for me???

To be pushy or not to be pushy…which do you want to be?

I would DEFINITELY say NOT PUSHY!!  I remember a woman who sold Tupperware to most of the members at my church…and she CONVINCE my mother-in-law that I needed to have a Tupperware Shower.  I called my mom crying, “Mother, I don’t want a Tupperware party, that’s not me.  That’s not fun, and I have enough storage containers already…what am I going to do?!”  After sobbing into the phone for a good 30 minutes, my mom eased my tension and I came up with a plan…I had my bridesmaids throw me a “Pampered Bride” party instead!  I thought that would get the woman off my back and give my MIL something to tell her, then she’d leave both of us alone…WRONG!

“I heard you’re having a Pampered Bride party with your bridesmaids, do you want to have a catalog party with me then?  There are some great items in here I have a few different catalogs you can look at, too.”  So my MIL asked again…and I declined AGAIN, and AGAIN, and AGAIN.  I began to avoid the woman at all costs (the Tupperware Nazi, not my MIL, just to clarify)!  As I left church one Sunday, about a month after our wedding, she ran up to me and said, “You know, we never did have your Tupperware party, let’s get something scheduled now!  You are married and moved into your new house so I’m sure there are somethings you didn’t get that you might need…does Friday work for you, I have that open…?”  “HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS?!!” I thought.  “You know, I’ll have to check….but I really think we are good with all of our stuff, my kitchen is pretty full….thanks, but…”  “Why don’t I give you a catalog and I’ll get back to you…”  I took the catalog, flipped through it a few times over the next week (I know she’d be after me on Sunday!), and then tossed it.  Not a week later did I buy a few items from another consultant at a CRAFT FAIR!!  The woman from my church had convinced me I NEVER wanted to do business with her…I didn’t realize how negatively she’d impacted the other woman at church until they saw her hounding me one day and said, “She’s after you, too, huh?  That woman is relentless!”

All this to say, this woman was TOO PUSHY! I didn’t want to support her business after all of the harrassing, begging of my MIL and me to have a party, and on and on…I thought of Tupperware as that old boring, non-colorful storage stuff my grandmother used…and my mom had some Army green pieces too – gag!  That wasn’t me. That wasn’t fun. That woman was too pushy, and I just wanted her to LEAVE ME ALONE!!

So, what did I learn from that experience?
1- I do NOT want to ever seem like the pushy salesperson.
2- The telemarketing world tells you to get “3 nos” before you hangup/write the person off…yes, I used to work for a Telemarketing company in high school, and again in college – flexible hours, decent money, and cute boys – see my priorities then?  MAN have they changed…thank you Lord! Sorry, I digress – “3 nos” should come from 3 different people not the same person in the same conversation!  3 nos in one conversation = PUSHY!!
3-Nonverbals are VERY important to pay attention to: no eye contact, walking faster, eye roll, irritated tone – key indicators this person does NOT want to talk to you…GET A CLUE!  Bless her, pray for her, and find someone else who is open to listening to what you have to say.
4-Giving a catalog to someone is great…but if the nonverbals are negative, the book is going to be trashed just like your reputation…and even that of the company you represent, because you were TOO PUSHY.
5- Do not let your MIL to plan a party for you…unless she is A LOT like you (we are TOTAL opposites).  If she does, rely on your friends to save you…they can be pretty creative under pressure situations!  I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS!!
6- There really is some up-to-date stuff in there…it isn’t “my grandma’s Tupperware,” just like it isn’t “my grandma’s Mary Kay” and I am THRILLED AT THAT!!
7- Not every Tupperware person is going to be pushy and irritate the ba-gee-baz out of you!  “Different strokes for different folks,” as they say.  So just because one person pushed and pushed and pushed doesn’t mean the next one will, I actually enjoyed the consultant I met at the Craft Fair…I’ve ordered from her since, actually. 
8- Just because one person can find your hot button, don’t give up on the rest.  There are good and bad consultants, some who are working the business the RIGHT way and some that need to learn/re-learn what the RIGHT WAY is…
9- Learning personality types is DEFINITELY important.  This “Tupperware Nazi” was very dominant whereas I am not…under most circumstances.  Now, when it comes to my kids and family, I can become a TOTALLY different person…but you need to know who you are talking to and how to talk to them.  That’s key to all communication…even with your spouse.  (I’m sure there are LOTS of blogs for those ramblings…)
10- Decide what type of person you want to be and want to become in this business.  What do you want people to say about you?  What do you want your customers to think of you and the company you work for?  Are you leaving them with warm fuzzies and excitement to see you again, or are they RUNNING the other direction?  It’s your job to take notice…and change what needs to change so that you can be successful in EVERYTHING you do.

On a more serious note, here’s an article I dug up that talks more about this topic…don’t you love it when that happens?!  I hope you find it a fun read, too.

Afraid of Being “Pushy?” By Sue Rusch

Are you reluctant to ask? Many direct sellers share a common fear: reluctance to ask, for fear of being labeled “pushy.” When I was in the business of doing home parties, I had an interesting interaction with one of my hostesses. What you learn from this experience may help you to shift your thinking. When you think differently, you will act differently.

At the conclusion of a show-closing phone call (wrapping up details and finalizing all orders) a hostess asked me a powerful question: “Sue, are you open to a few constructive remarks?” Sales at her show exceeded $1,000, so her opinions were important to me. I quickly replayed her show in my mind, trying to guess at what she had to say. Even though I was bracing myself for her comments, I responded by saying “Of course, there’s always room for improvement!” She said, “I am disappointed that I didn’t get more bookings. I think it’s because of the way you approached bookings, and I know some of your other hostesses have felt the same way. We’ve talked about it. You told everyone about booking, and what they would earn for hostessing. You told of the fun of a party and how easy it is to be a hostess. But you never talked to people as individuals and told them how much you would really like to work with them. No one really got the impression you wanted them to book a show with you. No one felt personally invited.”

I was surprised to hear this! After all, I consciously adopted a “hands-off” approach because I took pride in running my business in a professional manner, without being pushy. This hostess and I went on to talk about what it might look like if I asked each of her people. I asked her how she would feel if I had asked each guest, and she responded by saying “my sister-in-law came wanting to book a show, but you never asked her so she didn’t book. It would help you and your hostesses if you let each guest know you’d like to work with them. If you seemed more interested in them as individuals, not just as part of a group.” We had a healthy discussion about the limits of being “too pushy” with guests. We talked about ways to let guests know we really want to work with them. We discussed the warmth that comes with talking with people one-on-one instead of as a group. This powerful feedback was coming from a very successful hostess who felt disappointed that I didn’t personally approach her guests. She didn’t feel that it would have been “pushy” for me to talk to her guests. She would have appreciated it if I had asked. What, then, is the difference between asking and being pushy?

Here are some thoughts on “pushy”:
“Pushy” says that we are going beyond our client’s interest level. No one feels comfortable when a salesperson continues to sell long after the client has made it clear that there is no interest. Is it pushy to assess a client’s interest level by asking a question? I don’t think so. Furthermore, “pushy” implies that we are promoting something that is not of value. It implies that we benefit from the sale but our client does not. Most direct sellers are involved because of a passion for their products.

Are you “pushing”? Of course not. What’s the worst that could happen if you ask? Your client says “no.” What’s the best that could happen? Your client says “yes” or “maybe.” Think of what you could do with your business if you had more leads to work with. Think of all that you have to offer. Ask! Here are a few ways that you can ask:
• You had fun tonight, didn’t’ you?
• Have you thought of hosting a show in your home?
• I can tell you love our products. Wouldn’t it be fun to share them with your friends?
• Would you like to know more about hosting a show?
• I noticed that you are amazingly fired up about our products. Have you ever thought about doing what I do?

The input from my $1000 hostess was invaluable.
The key to sharing your enthusiasm for your company,
your products, and the career opportunity is this: 
ASK!

So, have you been pushy or a victim?  What did you do?  How were you turned you off?  What did you learn from that experience? Did you talk to your friend/hostess/customer about their party to get feedback on what worked & didn’t work?  DO TELL…

THOUGHT:  Life’s most valuable and memorable lessons come from real-life stories and experiences.  “Live and learn” really works, but if we are living, and not learning, are we really living or merely existing…?  Think about it.